Why do we experience a loss of identity?

When working with clients a common theme that shows up is the feeling of loosing identity. Not knowing who you are anymore. Feeling stuck and disconnected. This misalignment is what drives lots of people towards coaching in the first place, in the hope the experience will bring them back to themselves. Read on to hear some common reasons why we may feel like we are a little lost:

We put everyone else’s needs before our own. When we focus on others and neglect ourselves, we fail to recognize and value ourselves and our needs. We minimize who we are and what we need.

We’re disconnected from our thoughts and feelings. We commonly keep ourselves so distracted and can numb with alcohol, food, and electronics that we miss important information about who we are. How often do you reach for your phone or a snack whenever you get even slightly uncomfortable? These things keep us from knowing ourselves because we don’t allow ourselves to be curious and ask ourselves how we’re really feeling.

We experience life transitions and changes in our roles. Experience like a divorce, retirement, job loss, death of a loved one, or other traumatic events can also result in losing our sense of self, especially the parts associated with our roles.

We feel ashamed and unworthy, and consequently bury parts of ourselves. We were told that we’re bad, strange, ugly, stupid, or unworthy. We were criticized or teased. Maybe you loved to play chess as a kid, but were told that it’s not cool to join the chess club. So you quit. Or perhaps you were shamed for your sexual orientation and tried to deny it. We’re told we have to fit a certain mold if we’re to fit in. So, we squish our squarepeg selves into round holes and try to be something we’re not. After years of doing this, we lose track of who we really are.

The most important thing to know is that chnage is possible. If you feel a bit stuck, a little lost, it doesn’t have to be this way forever. Awareness is the first step. Now it’s time for you to take the power back, don’t be afraid to take up space and start being more curious about who you are and where you want to go.

For more info on how coaching can work for you, email me hello@charlottelodeyaligned.com or contact me here

Do what makes you happy - Davy J Swimwear